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Inspirations – T is for Taxidermy

2headcattThere is something totally grim but totally compelling about stuffed animals.

I have one of my own. A duck who’s head is falling off. I saw him at my son’s school and happened to mention how handsome he was to one of the teachers, who told me to take him away because he was freaking everyone out. He lives on my piano now and he is called Nick. Only people of a certain age get the joke.

These pictures are from the very odd museum of freaks at Wookey Hole in Somerset. You can just about make out the two heads on the cat and the sheep.

If you ever get a chance to go to Boscastle there is a witches museum that has a 2 headed pig in a jar. I really want a 2 headed pig in a jar. It would go next to the eyeballs on my kitchen shelves.

2headsheep

Red and Leopard Rockabilly Quilt – for sofa slumping with style.

If, like me you enjoy curling up on the sofa and box set binginquilt_frameg you NEED one of these. Truly you do. This one is single bed sized; 106cm x 154cm which is exactly the right size to cover one sad and lonely person or 2 people who get on very well.

It’s perfect all year round, it has a warm fleece side and a cooler cotton side.

It’s mostly red, so if you spill your red wine on it, or bleed on it it won’t show up so much, also it’s machine washable and as it’s 100% cotton backed with fleece you can wash it on 40 degrees and it won’t mind one bit.

Amongst the red are leopard print, flame print, roses, orange, tribal, batik and plain purple and orange elements. Some of the fabric is new, some of the fabric is high quality vintage upcycled from old clothing.

It’s made from triangles and squares of different sizes.

And it’s on Folksy – http://folksy.com/items/3956286-Patchwork-Quilt-Fleece-Backed-Red-Leopard-Roses-Flames-Orange-Purple

Or you can buy it through Rag Baby directly for £105 and not pay for postage because that is free.

Inspirations – B is for Beetles

bB is for beetles.

I started keeping beetles because I wanted giant millipedes. They need a heat mat which you keep at the side of the tank so it seemed silly to heat air – I just got another tank and some beetle larvae.

The millipedes are pets I never see, they don’t seem to eat anything  apart from the leaf mulch they live in and they spend most of their time underground concentrating on growing.

The beetles I never saw when they were larvae. I could spot them occasionally at the bottom of the tank, squished up against the glass like huge bloated maggots with teeth. You can just about see one above the word ‘starter in this picture.

Smaragdesthes africana oertzeni l3coccoonThen one day I couldn’t find them. I took all the soil out of the tank to try to find them and nothing was there. They had gathered moss and leaves around themselves, making mossy maltesers in which to pupate.

They are different colours depending on which way you look at them, they can be purple, green or blue. They gleam and shine. They love banana and eat it by sticking their whole heads in. The only way to eat! They are Smaragdesthes africana oertzeni. Flower beetles and they are all called Stephenson. The millipedes are all called George, of course.

beetles

 

 

 

 

 

If you are tempted to keep these little beauties as pets they are not tricky. They need about 4 inches of chemical free soil or peat mixed with rotting oak and beech leaves. They eat banana, cucumber, lettuce, sweet potato, carrots and apples and like them slightly gone off. They like to be warm ish and they like a bit of sunshine.

Very Rude Anti Valentines Card – If I tell you that I love you will you fuck me?

fuck_me

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture made from Victorian mechanical and anatomical drawings.

This particular one has a sexy half opened torso, a lovely bug in sections and cogs to keep the wheels of love turning.

Too rude for Folksy or Etsy, probably too rude for any family members and possibly illegal too.
5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

Just a tiny little £4.50 with no postage charges at all and this could be yours!

Inspirations – M is for Mary and Max

mMary and Max is a claymation film I was given for my last birthday. The friend who gave it to me said she wants to give it to all her friends and that’s just how I feel.

It’s about an 8 year old Australian girl and her American pen pal who finds the world very confusing. He is Autistic, she has an alcoholic mother and they become each other’s only friends for a while.

It is not a childrens film. It has everything a good film should have; sex, nudity, gore, swearing, drugs, alcohol and all the way through runs this terrible feeling that something awful is about to happen.

Really, just watch it. Your life will be enriched. Trust me!

Short poncho shoulder warmers in delicious colours keep us pixies warm.

I’m not sure what you call these, any suggestions much appreciated. For the moment, let’s call it a neck warmer, though it’s more than that as it has a short poncho section that keeps your shoulders and your neck toasty warm.

It is crocheted and made by joining 6 flowers together to circle the neck. The crochet then circles round them creating a border at the bottom and a collar at the top.

The yarn used is dip dyed.

These can be worn with the collar up or down. The collar has a soft petal edging.
They are shown on a size 12 dress stand but will fit from size 8 to size 20 – it will just be bigger on smaller people.

The yarn is wool and acrylic mixed. It can be washed at 40 degrees.

The design is based on a free pattern from Ravelry and has been altered by me.

I love you because you have an enormous cock – Valentines Day Card

Mmm cock.

You too could have a huge cock on your mantlepiece. I’ve got one, it’s resplendent.

5 1/2 inch square deep black high quality card with bright pink envelopes.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or rip out if you feel so inclined.

£4.50 including postage

SOLD OUT NOW SORRY

 

Inspirations

2girls_300Alternative

Amusing

Anatomy

Automaton

Axolotls

Beetles

Bitter

Black Humour

Black

Cogs

Cold

Complicated

Cool

Dark

Dark Humour

Deep

Dragons

Dune

Fantasy

Facetious

Fetish

Fractals

Goth

History

Ice queen

Ingenious

Insects – see also Beetles

Inventions

Involved

Janes Addiction

Kimono

Mary and Max

Macabre

Mechanical

Obsessive

Original

Pangolins

Purple

Re-inventing

Sci-Fi

Sarcasm

Satire

Sinister

Sophisticated

Steampunk

Springs

Sub Culture

Sumptious

Taxidermy

Trees

Upcycling

Victorian

Waste not

Wit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love you because the voices tell me to – Anti Valentines Day Card

What else do the voices tell you to do?

This Steampunk anti Valentines day card features a composite picture anatomy drawings and diagrams of machinery.
The card is of the deepest darkest black and is 5 1/2 inch square. It comes with a jolly bright pink envelope to lighten the mood, or lull the recipient into a false sense of security.
The inside of the card has a paler pink heart to write on, or tear off, if you are in that sort of mood.

Or you can buy directly from here with Paypal for £4.50 with free postage and packing

I love him because the voices tell me to – Anti Valentines Day T-shirt

Mecanical anatomy drawings consipire to make a Gothy Steampunk heart with a message – what do the voices tell you to do?